This is my favorite picture of Belinda and I…sunny colors…warm light…she’s looking beautiful, a bit goofy…and I’m happy. I was always happy when I was with Belinda.

It’s been terribly cold this week, the lowest temperatures of the winter thus far. I’m completely convinced it’s because Belinda’s soul is no longer here on this planet. I suspect it might always be just a bit colder now, without her presence.

I’m sure most everyone has heard the story. The details are long and complicated. In short summary, my sweet and dearest friend Belinda Craft passed away Monday morning due to complications following a simple knee surgery. A few devilish blood clots traveled from her legs to her lungs, and just like that, shut her system down. Ultimately, the cause of death was brain trauma. Her oldest daughter, who had been keeping me up to date on Belinda’s condition during those horrendous couple of days, simply texted me these words…”I’ve lost my mommy.”

I’ve never been so devastated in my entire life.

There is simply no way to make sense of an event like this. So far I haven’t wanted to waste too much energy trying to make sense of it. Even though I am terribly, terribly sad, my spirit is being gently taught that everything is as it should be. If I know Belinda (I’d say I know her better than I know most people), I’m certain that she is happy and safe, already rolling up her sleeves and jumping with both feet and all her heart into the next phase of her existence. I’m sure there is concern in her heart for those of us she left behind who must now struggle to get along without her (it won’t be easy); but with her simple, solid, unwavering, faith and her new-found perspective on the nature of eternity, I’m sure she knows that we’ll be alright in the long run.

And we will be alright, because Belinda didn’t leave us empty handed. She left us with an abundance of her incredible love and hundreds and hundreds of happy memories. Those memories and that love is what I have been trying to focus my energy thinking about these last few days. What an incredible legacy my friend has left behind. She never wasted a minute of her precious life!

I know that everyone will agree with me when I say that Belinda spent most of her waking hours (and I suspect even some of her sleeping ones, if that’s possible), giving of herself to others. One of the greatest and most precious blessings I have ever been given in this life was to have been the recipient of an abundance of service, love, and friendship from sweet, wonderful Belinda.

Just a few examples….

-Many years ago, when I was overwhelmed with sadness because my grandmother had passed away and I had been banished to bed rest waiting for my twins to be born; Belinda was the first at my door with a gift, a card, and long visit of sympathy and concern.

-When those twins grew up a bit and they were making me question whether I would survive until my next birthday; Belinda was at my door once again, taking those twins on adventures for the afternoon, and sending me off to a pedicure appointment she had arranged and paid for.

-When I did miraculously make it to my next birthday, she made that birthday extra special by covering my lawn with colorful signs and posters. Written on each sign and each poster was a reason why she loved me. There were dozens of happy balloons too!

-When I complained to her that I was stressed out of my mind anticipating spending a week in the dry wilderness with a group of teenagers for Pioneer Trek (something she would consider a exciting adventure), she stayed up into the wee hours of the night sewing a dozen or so cooling, comforting neck bands that would bring us all welcome relief in the sweltering sun.

-When I told her that I had a horrible fear of four-wheeling so had never experienced a mountain excursion on ATV’s, she arranged a couple’s weekend for the four of us (Mike and I, she and Stan) at Daniel’s summit. We cruised around the mountains in the moonlight and then the sunshine. It’s one of my happiest memories ever, and I did conquer my fears.

-When we took our daughters on a weekend getaway (her idea of course), Belinda was the one who brought all her supplies and let us all relax on the couch while she worked diligently giving each and every one of us a luxurious foot bath and foot massage. She had the most healing touch.

-At my house one day she looked around and became concerned that Mike and I didn’t have a professional, up-to-date photo of the two of us together. She immediately arranged things with her professional-photographer daughter to have our portraits taken. Now I will have beautiful photographs of Mike and I to treasure forever, courtesy of Belinda. In all those beautiful photos we are smiling at her because of course she was at the photo shoot.

-The day Belinda passed away, I asked Mike to figure out how to retrieve all my Belinda texts from my phone so that I would always have them. When he downloaded them all there was 75 pages of texts from her! Most of those texts are filled with words of encouragement, laughter, excitement, praise, and service. And that’s only texts. Countless hours we’ve spent talking, discussing, laughing, analyzing, listening to, learning from, lifting, and encouraging each other.

I could list so many more large and small acts of service that I have received over the 13 years I have known Belinda. The most amazing part of this is that I was just one of the dozens and dozens of people she was serving in this manner all the time. Almost everyone she knew could make a list like this. Her funeral tomorrow will be standing room only, because of the many lives has she touched with that rare combination of a supremely generous heart and boundless energy. Belinda never took away, she always added upon.

For years I would make up excuses to go to her house even if that reason was just to help her with her dishes or let the boys feed the chickens; because whenever I spent time with Belinda, I went away feeling happy, secure, loved and lifted. Oh, how I will miss my dear friend!

I wrote her a short note to go with her Christmas present this year…

Dearest Belinda:

How do I even begin to tell you how much you have blessed and enriched my life? 

You’re example and encouragement is priceless to me.

Thank you for your example of following in the footsteps of the Savior. You serve

and bless and teach and love everyday. I want to be you when I grow up!

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas holiday, full of the spirit of the Lord.

Love you,

Jill

There is a well-known scripture…Moroni 7:48….

“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he has bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons (and daughters) of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.”

Belinda has this love. She was indeed a true follower of Christ. I know that when she saw Him, she saw Him as He is because she was like Him. I know she will be made pure, even as He is pure.

I have so many reminders of Belinda all over my home. She left her footprint all over my life and I’m so glad, because I never want to forget her or the lessons that she taught me. I want to make sure I honor her memory by the way I live my life.

Thank you Belinda for loving me, for being my friend, for leaving me much better than you found me.